Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.